Cancer Health Forums

Prostate Cancer Forums => Living with Prostate Cancer => Topic started by: carriemarie on September 12, 2019, 01:49:05 pm

Title: husband embarrassed by diagnosis- how can I help?
Post by: carriemarie on September 12, 2019, 01:49:05 pm
My husband was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and he is so embarrassed to talk about it with anyone, including me. I know that this is something that many men struggle with and struggle with the stigma or associations of the diagnosis, but I just want him to understand that thsi does not make him any less of a man and he should not feel any shame or embarrassment. To any men who have experienced something similar- what can I do or say to help? To anyone with loved ones who have experienced this- what did you do to help your loved one get through this difficult time?
Title: Re: husband embarrassed by diagnosis- how can I help?
Post by: stopcancer28 on October 04, 2019, 10:02:06 am
: hi, another wife who was in the same boat as you a month ago. It was so hard to see my husband isolate himself, but I was able to help him talk to me about it more by sending him literature on guys he was a fan of who struggled with prostate cancer. Lots of celebrities, athletes, talk show hosts, and authors have spoken out and reading their thoughts/supporting them can make him feel less alone. I read an article on here about Ed Randall (my husband is a fan of baseball) when i told him about the activism that others who have been diagnosed are doing it was a positive influence on his mood for sure. While none of them can change their diagnosis, there is hope to help others with early detection :) if your husband is an activist type show him this article, maybe it will inspire him to talk about it
Title: Re: husband embarrassed by diagnosis- how can I help?
Post by: metsfan232 on October 04, 2019, 10:05:15 am
Telling my wife about the diagnosis was hard enough, i felt weak and then the chemo made me weaker, unattractive, and i was unable to be the husband i wanted to be. That’s probably how he feels now too, like he cannot be there for you and is now pushing you away because he is uncomfortbale and frustrated with himself. My wife was in your same spot a year ago and started doing something that really helped, she would ask a simple question about how i was feeling, the diagnosis, or anything generally related to the cancer. If i shrugged her off with a non-answer she never asked another question or pushed it, but would just stay there and say that she was there to listen hen i wanted to talk. I dont know if this will help but what i am trying to say is dont push him to talk, but when you are together give him time to get comfortable in that type of convo and eventually say more to you.